Oh yes, it’s coming back to you now, that source of holiday stress (no matter how much you love ‘em) …
The family has arrived. Yes, things are about to get nuttier than Aunt Gladys’ fruitcake, but sing along with us and you’ll find there’s one way to enjoy the holidays a little more and stress a little less this year.
You know the tune, “On the 6th day of Christmas, my family gave me to me …”
“6 Singers Screeching”
Your sister always wants to go caroling, which is great, but why is the most avid caroler always the least in tune? She gathers the whole gang that first night and you all head out into the cold and snow to terrorize the neighbors.
As you feel the snow work its way through your socks, you wonder when somebody’s ever going to shovel this walk. That’s when you realize, oh yeah, that’s your job.
“Fi-i-i-i-ive TP Ro-o-o-o-olls”
You’re kicking yourself for not having the plumber out to scope your drains before the holiday season when it’s next to impossible to get somebody out on short notice. Who knows what lies beneath the five whole rolls of toilet paper your nephew stuffed down the bowl?
“4 Snotty Kids”
Everywhere you look the kids’ noses are running like faucets, and you know those germs are coming for you. You wash your hands obsessively. Of course, all that gets you is chapped palms when it’s time to head outside and shovel the driveway again, sniffling all the way. Their noses pressed to the window as they watch.
“3 Dog Dumps”
Cousin Randy refuses to board his Terrier, which means you’re opening your home once again to Mr. Snuggles. Unfortunately, Snuggles can’t stand your cat. Just the sight of her triggers bowel movements and, well … let’s just say Randy does a great job cleaning up to his standard of cleanliness.
“2 Ninja Mice”
Speaking of poop, the near-constant buffet-style eating means a feast of crumbs on the floor for little invaders. You bait a trap overnight. On Christmas Eve morning you find the trap is still set … and the bait is gone. You set another. Then, out of the corner of your eye, you see something scurry. You look back. The bait is gone.
They’re in cahoots!
“And a …”
Christmas morning is here and you sleep in as late as your kids let you. With big grins on their faces, they lead you to the tree where they’ve been drooling over their gifts (you can literally see the wet spots). Now it’s your turn to open a small envelope. Suddenly all eyes are on you. Everybody knows but you that you’re about to get the greatest gift of them all …
“… snow removal gift certificate!”
We can’t take all the stress out of the holidays, but we can give you what you really want: a load off your back and a chance to relax. Let us keep the way clear for the family to drive in and the carolers to march out so you have more time in your recliner, where your butt belongs on vacation.
Then again, maybe we can take all the stress out if you follow our simple advice. Just do these two things:
First, tell your family you want a snow removal gift certificate from Clean Cut Lawn & Landscape for Christmas.
Second, tell your sister it’s her turn to host next year!
Clean Cut Lawn & Landscape
7415 W Jackson St
Muncie, IN 47304-9759